I suspect that over time the frequency of these blogs will decrease to once a day but right now it's still a novelty. Not least because on sharing it on facebook I got a positive comment and the very fact that someone might be interested in what I had to say spurred me on. So... looking at the list, at the end of the last one, of topics that I would like to cover I then thought that I should keep it light - for now - because while I have some pretty firm opinions about some very weighty topics I don't want to discourage people from reading me just yet.
So let's start with the notion of Gratitude. This is something that I have been meditating on for a few weeks now. Do you ever get the feeling that the universe is trying to tell you something? A concept comes through in everything you read and talk about, hear in songs on the radio, dream about... yes? Not just me then. And in the last few weeks it has been about gratitude.
Let me place a caveat here and then dispense with the formalities later - these are my opinions, borne out my personal experience. So even if I don't say "in my opinion..." please don't think that I'm lecturing; it's more likely that I am in the Flow. But they are just that - my views and my opinions and are as valid as all others.
Gratitude. To me genuine gratitude is the difference between sadness and happiness. Because let's face it very few people have the perfect life. Shit happens and for some people shit keeps happening time and time again. It seems though that there are two types of people in the world: victims of fate and masters of destiny and those people who feel that they are Captain of their own ships are those that generally feel happier, more in control and able to cope with any given situation.
Fate and destiny to me have some notable features in common not least the common misconception that what happens to you is either you fate or your destiny. I disagree, in my opinion it is not what happens to you in real time - your day to day life - that makes your destiny but the internal journey of learning that comes from those experiences.
I imagine that we are walking on a path and there are many trials along that path. One person might suffer greatly at every trial and bemoan their fate. Another may welcome the challenges as opportunities to learn and grow and become stronger with every trial thus they embrace their destiny. So... if the path itself was our fate then those two people would have had the same experience. Fate and destiny are not things that happen to us but reactions that happen within us.
Fate and destiny are not things outside of our control but are a series of choices that we make that have consequences and that shape our lives. I personally believe that we affect our own destinies on a second by second basis but that the single greatest cause of unhappiness, depression and despondency is the inability to see that. To feel out of control, to not take responsibility for our lives, is to believe that we are victims of fate.
The first cry of indignation that rises when we look at this notion of us all being creators of our destiny is that those of us that have suffered greatly on the path at a time in our lives, perhaps, when we would have been too young to have been reasonably in charge of anything, will say that there are indeed victims in this world. Children who are abused, people with severe illnesses and disabilities, the world's poor, the innocent victims of war, people who are tortured, exploited and forgotten.
And it is at this point that I realise that I have inadvertently strayed into something very dark and deep while trying to keep it light. Sigh... this is how my mind works folks, bear with me.
It is very hard to look the world's "victims" in the eye and say "you are master of your own destiny, you are not a victim of fate" (and in fact I bearly can) but remember what I started to say about it not being the path outside of ourselves that is our fate but the path within. So, sure enough, atrocities are enacted upon innocents from the time they are conceived and that living incarnation would be well within their rights to say "I don't deserve this, poor me" but it is the internal process of assimilation and understanding, the accumulation of either hatred or wisdom, that continues to determine whether someone is a victim or not.
(I have a personal belief which, in blog 2 of many, I won't go into detail about here but it is relevant to say that I believe that we do create our own destiny from a space outside of our experience of this incarnation. I believe we are equal partners in a cosmic process of determining the necessary experiences in life that our soul requires to grow and expand, to redress the rights and wrongs of many lifetimes - yes, Karma - but please don't let this term detract from what I am saying here, I'll explore this in more depth at another time)
Back to what I was saying. Was Nelson Mandela a victim of fate? Was Aung San Su Kyi a victim of fate? Was Anne Frank a victim of fate? Was Gandhi a victim of fate? Nope. I hardly think that anyone can say that these people lay down and gave up in the face of their trials. All over this beautiful planet there are millions of examples of people experiencing the most horrendous hardships and maintaining their humanity, their compassion, their humour and their ability to find good in a situation.
Depression is an affliction of the western world. It is in the absence of life-threatening trials and doorstep atrocities that we allow our gaze to lower to our feet, for the dull heavyness to encircle our hearts and for the tears of self pity to flow. Without a rallying call, without a battle to fight the battle goes within and we go to war with ourselves.
At the same time please do not feel that I am attacking those people who struggle with the feeling that they are not masters of their destiny and that shit keeps happening to them and they feel awful and helpless about it. My God I never would because I am one of those people myself from time to time. In fact for long periods of time during which all hope has left me, all light and joy has deserted me and I have completely lost the will and vision to continue. I have been there - and despite my joyous blogging I expect I'll go there again in the future.
The key here is... gratitude. And my reflections recently have been about the different types of gratitude. Consider Christmas Day and you get a present that someone has been kind enough to spend lots of money on or lots of time choosing but it's really not your kind of thing. You're grateful, right? What if someone didn't spend much time or money but bought you something practical that you will use? Grateful, because it's only polite for sure? What if someone said honestly to you that they didn't feel the need to get you a present? BUT what about if someone got you the ultimate gift that lifted your soul, something that said they knew you and got you and it was something that would immeasurably enhance your life... a different gratitude again.
I feel that when you first start the difficult journey of learning to be grateful for the "bad" things that have happened to you it often feels like a begrudging gratitude like for a gift you don't want. Then there comes an acceptance that the gift will be of some practical use and the practical gratitude feels different from begrudging one. It feels more palatable but there is still no sparkle. Eventually though you may catch yourself - even just for a moment - thinking "oh my goodness I am an amazing person" "wow, just think what I've lived through and what wisdom I have to share" "look at the amazing people in my life... the fact they are there means I must be as amazing as them" and the sun floods in over your darkened horizon.
Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy! That moment - even if it were fleeting, is that feeling of genuine, heartfelt gratitude that what didn't kill you made you stronger, that you are a product not only of your trials but of your positive outlook and willingness to learn. An understanding and a wisdom that you could only have achieved in a baptism of fire. That your broken heart has expanded with each break, has fixed itself stronger. Thank you! You say to the people who hurt you. Thank you! to the car that smashed into yours. Thank you! to the aggressors and abusers and small minded bullies. Thank you from the bottom of my enormous heart because I am ME and I love who I am. I love you so much for all that you did because all that you did helped me to be the amazing person that I am.
Of course... this depends on you seeing yourself as a beautiful, divine, good and amazing person. That's for another blog perhaps. Namaste xxx
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